


Never Let Me Go

by nirroca



Series: Lavender [14]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-29 23:10:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19840474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nirroca/pseuds/nirroca
Summary: At least this place is peaceful she supposes. And the view is nice.There are certainly worse ways to die. And even worse places to do it.





	Never Let Me Go

They were lucky to have the time together that they did, she tries to reason to herself. But even in the depths of her grief, trying to rationalise the hollowness of her inhuman sadness she knew. Knew that the time that they’d had together wasn’t enough. Knew that even if they’d lived 100 ages it never would have been enough. Enough for her to love her the way she wanted. The way she deserved. The way she needed to like her every breath depended on it.

She still remembers her smell, the sound of her voice, the ghost of her touch. And even after two years it still hurts as much as the day it happened.

The day she defeated Corypheus is one that’s never spoken about. Not in her presence at least. Though sometimes she wishes people would. She grew tired of people treating her like she was fragile, like she wouldn’t be able to bear the mere mention of that day or its events.

No matter how far she travelled, how many rifts she finally closed for good she would never forget the helplessness she felt that day. She had defeated a self-proclaimed god but she was powerless to save the one woman she loved more than anything in the world. Could do little more than hold her as she drifted away, and breathed her last rattling breath. She knew the moment she lost her. Knew the moment she saw the shard of debris jutting proudly from her chest that there was nothing any of them could do for her. 

She still remembers her last words to her. Doubts she’ll ever forget them.

Between shaky breaths and winces of pain Cassandra manages to speak.  
  
“I’m so cold,”

Ellana had never seen such open fear in her eyes, and even now it breaks what’s left of her heart to think about her beautiful face twisted in such a way, knowing that she was powerless to escape the fate that was quickly closing in on her as she fought for every breath as if it was her last. And they were.

“It’s ok, I’ll keep you warm,” she smiles weakly through her tears, holding on to her the best she can, her hands slipping on the blood coated metal of her breastplate. 

Her words felt pointless at the time, but she didn’t know what else to say.  
  
And in the years since she realises that in her own way she has. By keeping her memory close to her heart. By finishing the work they started together all those years ago. 

Being at the Exalted Council without her at her side feels strange. Like she’s missing her right hand. Fighting without her by her side feels wrong, leaves her careless, and every time she lets her guard fall she can hear her admonishing her in her head. It would be so easy to fall on the battlefield and finally join her. But her memory deserves better. And the Qunari need to be stopped.   
  
She wishes she were there to help her with the pain, to not judge her as she succumbs to the burning in her arm. To hold her when all she wants to do is scream in agony. But she’s not, so Ellana must keep the brave face that she hasn’t let fell for two years intact, and ignore the looks of worry that her companions constantly watch her with.

There’s no time for pity from others or for herself.

It’s not a surprise to meet Solas again. It makes sense really that he’s behind the disappearance of the elves. That he’s responsible for the state of the world as it currently stands. She always felt he knew too much and now she knows why.  
  
She feels relief for the first time in four years when he takes the mark from her, and she’s numb as she watches him leave through the Eluvian. 

This place is peaceful, and she would have loved it.

But despite the lack of pain, she knows it’s too late for her. Can feel it in how dull she feels to the world, like everything around her is passing her by and she’s just idly watching it happen.

At least this place is peaceful she supposes. And the view is nice.

There are certainly worse ways to die. And even worse places to do it.  
  
She sits, her back against the warm stones as she looks out across the valley before her, sunshine warming her face and the sound of rushing water lulling her to sleep. No one is going to know what happened to her, and for the most part she doesn’t mind, not after everything she has given and sacrificed, and how little she has gotten in return.

At some point, she slips away.

And when she opens her eyes, she is greeted by her beautiful face.   
  
  
  
  



End file.
